The Perfect Lex? I Think So.

A lot of hay has been made about the casting for the next Superman movie…  er, Batman movi… er, Justice League movie?!  I am so confused as to what DC is doing on the big screen that maybe casting shouldn’t be what everybody’s up in arms about.  And that was only over Gal Gadot as Wonder Woman!  Then they announced who would be starring as Lex Luthor, and I’ve got to admit I had my reservation at first.  But after careful consideration I went from furrowed brows to “Hmm…” to “That’s not the worst idea somebody’s had”, to “I am 100% on board with this – there is nobody better for this role”.  (Except maybe Michael Rosenbaum?  Anybody?)

Ladies and gents – the next Lex Luthor!Zombieland_1080_5That’s right!  Jesse Eisenberg is our next Lex Luthor in the upcoming DC feature Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice…  The yin to Superman’s Yang, The Smoking Man to Clark Kent’s Mulder, the First to Cavill’s Buffy…. you get the gist.  And, as you can see – he learned early on in his career not to be a hero.

And “Why?” you ask is Eisenberg the perfect guy?  Because!  Just think about it: everything he’s done in his career has led up to this moment.

  • He played a small role in M. Night Shyamalan’s The Village.  Enough to scare any kid, right?  But then you take it one step further and dare the creatures of the night to take you?  All the signs of a kid with some issues up top.
  • Next up, The Education of Charlie Banks.  Because living the nightmares of a bully in high-school through high-school isn’t enough – let’s re-live those issues in college!  Again, there’s something to screw with the ol’ noodle and send you down the wrong path.
  • Now that we’ve gotten the fact that his childhood roles have established his character as someone who’s going to have some issues – let’s take into the account that any chance he had at redemption ended when Columbus killed Bill Murray in Zombieland.
  • His career decidedly took a turn for the bad (as in evil) at that point when he became Mark Zuckerberg in The Social Network.  That’s right, the guy who created arguably one of the most evil on-line presences from the ground-up with less than pure intentions and had the ego of a super-villain.  I’m still not sure where Eisenberg ended and Zuckerberg begins now, and I’m not quite sure that either of them aren’t super-villains.  Just saying.
  • And then there’s the icing on the cake – the role that took everything he’d done previously and prepared him to take the final step into the complicated, convoluted, angst-riddled mind that is Lex Luthor: J. Daniel Atlas in Now You See Me.  The childhood issues combined with the egos of his last two roles and the ability to plan things like a criminal mastermind and play with magic…  it all prepared him to face off against the Man of Steel.  And Batman.  And the rest of the Justice League.  And whoever else shows up in what I thought was supposed to be the second Superman movie.  Sheesh.

And there you have it.  He went from being an awkward adolescent with issues to being an awkward adult with other issues (killing Bill Murray being the biggest one) to being an egotistical narcissistic douchebag to being an egotistical narcissistic ass with designs on greatness. A little haircut, a little diet, a little drive, a lot of ego, and a crapton of douchiness will get you this.  This… this is the next logical step.


As one Lex Luthor said before – great figures in history are defined by their enemies…  And Jesse Eisenberg finally found his.

~ J.T. Riles ~


Categories: Stamp of Approval, Turn off your Phones!

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