I Vant to Suck Your Blood… Or at least two hours of your life. Turn Off Your Phones: Dracula Untold


 Dracula Untold stars Luke Evans (Immortals, The Hobbit) as Vlad the Impaler, torn between the dark things he must do to keep his family and people safe from the Turks turns into an unrelenting ruler that torments Transylvania.  Other key figures are his wife, Mirena – played by the lovely Sarah Gadon (The Amazing Spider-Man 2), and his once-brother-in-arms, Mehmed – played by Dominic Cooper (Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter,  Need for Speed).

I’m a Dracula fan first and foremost, and Evans and Cooper both have roles I’ve enjoyed before; so I was pretty high on this movie going in.  Frankly, I’m a sucker.  Basically it amounted to a quickie cheap-thrills movie that’s made around Halloween every year.  Just like those cheesy romantic comedies around New Years and Valentine’s day, studios have been suckering people in for a quick buck during Halloween as well.  Once in a while you get a really good flick out of it, but most of the time you get a yawner of a dud like this bad boy.

Dracula-Untold-Mirena-Sarah-Gadon-850x560It wasn’t for lack of acting by Evans, who’s role I still enjoyed: the guy seems to take his craft seriously even if his choices of movies aren’t the greatest.  Gadon is nice to look at, if not a bit whiny about the whole “my hubby is a vampire thing”.  Spoiler alert: her death scene was shear horse poo.  Yeah, I said horse poo.  Really the problem with this movie was the writing and lack of a story consistent with past legend – you could tell the script was quickly put together without much care for fans of Dracula.  Glossing over the legend of Vlad the Impaler and his exploits was a shame.

I don’t have to drag this on.  Don’t blame Evans, Gadon, or Cooper, but this film was meh.  Don’t go see it, don’t buy it when it comes out on DVD, and frankly – if it hits Netflix – come back and read one of our Hidden Gems articles, we’ll point you to something better to watch.

~ E.S. Norton ~


Categories: Turn off your Phones!

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