The One Where Stuff Started Happening Again… Channel Surfing: The Strain – Last Rites

wpid-wp-1408986951715.jpegSo, after three weeks (at minimum) of moving slower than molasses in wintertime, the show picked up this week in Last Rites; they’ve been building up to it slowly (oh, so slowly), but the season finale is next week so something had to happen!

The Scooby Gang gets back to the pawn shop right around dusk and Eph has to break it to Zach that they didn’t kill the Master – but surprise of all surprises, the kid didn’t tell his dad about his escapades for a pack of smokes.  And then, stuff begins to happen.  With no real rhyme or reason: it’s kind of weird, but it is what this show seems to excel at.

Dutch shows back up!  And she’s here to help, willingly and everything.  She’s going to get these guys set up on the Emergency Broadcast System (the one that’s never been used – ever) so they can get out a twenty-to-thirty second warning to all the people watching TV late at night.  While she’s setting that up we get to witness a touching conversation between her and Vasiliy about her messed up childhood; good, pointless filler really.  Meanwhile Eph seems to finally be figuring things out, and accepting that crazy stuff is going on all around: like vampires and an old guy that wants commit suicide via vampire nest.  While he’s doing that he needs to figure out what to say in his address via the EBS.  He actually manages to be convincing this episode as the know-it-all that’s not quite sure what to do anymore – I think it’s his best episode yet.

Down the stairs Abraham is sitting next to that creepy heart in a jar, and we’re treated to another flashback.  This time he’s older and in Albania, apparently he and his wife have spent a considerable amount of time hunting the Master and have followed him here.  The middle-aged Abraham takes off to a castle in the countryside where he believes the Master is located, only to stumble across a group of nesting strigoi; one of whom the Master takes control of to tell Abraham something he should already know: it’s late and he’s a long way from home and his wife.  This sets him on alert and he jumps to get out of the castle, only to find Eichorst has cut off his route out.  After taking a moment to gloat about Abraham literally being stuck down a well without a ladder, Eichorst takes off leaving Abraham to his own devices.  He eventually climbs out of the well and makes his way home – only to find his place a mess and his wife turned.  In case you were wondering, that’s where the heart in the jar comes from.  The guy is creepy and obsessive that way.

Back upstairs, Dutch does her thing and Eph haltingly gives a brief service announcement detailing “the strain” that’s going around.  And then the vamps show up en force.  Hey!  There’s the rocker dude, what’s-his-name – Gabriel! in tow.  I wasn’t sure he was wandering the streets anymore, but there he is with Eichorst – and he ends up latching on to Nora’s mom; now Nora won’t have to worry about her mom losing her mind, because instead she has to lose her whole head.  Too soon?  The crew locks themselves in the basement, loads up on weapons, and makes their way out a secret exit Abraham had built in right before Eichorst breaks through – and that’s where we leave these guys.

Gus has been having adventures of his own across town in the meantime, deciding to visit the guy who tried to rip him off for a stolen car in order to return the favour.  He has the guy, Alonzo, drive him to his office where he stocks up on guns and ammo, but decides that isn’t enough when he finds there could be more.  The “more” turns out to be cargo containers of strigoi that Alonzo is supposed to ship.  In Alonzo’s defense, he didn’t know that’s what he was shipping – he’s just the kind of guy that doesn’t ask questions.  While they’re in the process of running from/fighting the strigoi and each other, the good guy(?) strigoi special ops team shows up just in time to rescue Gus.  Because…  Why?  I don’t know either.  There was a bunch of weird stuff going on in this episode that makes about as much sense as a purple moon in a brown sky.

Because that’s the way they decided to roll this episode we make one last visit to a different character, Palmer.  The Master has decided to finally show up and meet him!  Palmer is ecstatic and goes on at length about how he had faith in the Master, and did everything the Master wanted, and so on and so forth – it’s like a schoolyard crush almost.  Asking one more time to be turned, Palmer is granted a gift from the Master: a few drops of clear liquid from his fingernails…  Huh?  What he devil is going on here?  Cut to him standing outside, laughing in the rain because that’s what crazy people do.  I’m guessing – and spoilers for the next episode seem to bear it out – that Palmer wasn’t turned, he was just healed/changed in some other way.  I really want to know how.  And why.  And how many different kinds of creatures are there?  And why?  And how?  And all that stuff…

Tune in next week where hopefully some of this all begins to make sense to us!  And share your thoughts on what could happen – I’d love to know what everybody thinks is going to happen.

Till next time.

The Strain is aired on FX, Sundays at 10pm

~ J.T. Riles ~

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