Channel Surfing: The Last Ship – No Place Like Home

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Here it is…  our season recap of The Last Ship.

I only have one thing to say: THANK GOD THAT’S OVER.

Seriously – what a waste of my time, I don’t know why I kept subjecting myself to that…  In fact, when I heard Taylor Swift would be performing on MTV’s Video Music Awards I’m ashamed to say I almost watched that instead…  almost.  But I felt it was important to get this season under my belt and out of the way.  So again: thank God that’s over. 

Last week we left the crew having a cheesy heartfelt moment upon having discovered the cure (which was a combination of some primordial sludge and an immune girl’s blood who they saved from a ghost ship a few weeks back from what I’ve been able to gather/what I choose to remember from this show).  Now, the crew has gotten immunized, Tex is feeling rejected by the Doc and gabbing like a emo schoolgirl, and the ship is headed for the nearest medical lab they can think of. 

While underway, they’re able to hijack a US airforce satellite and see that the medical center they’re headed to was completely destroyed.  But wait!  There’s still hope in this ridiculously predictable show: they receive an automated message directed to the USS Nathan James calling them to Baltimore, and off they go… Just like that.  No warning bells in their heads or anything, just accept that this is a good thing.  When they arrive they are met by a bunch of police officers and Mrs. Granderson – a representative of the US government,  it just so happens she’s also the mother of one of the crew members.  While meeting with her, it seems there’s a group of people called “The Warlords” who is out to get her – but they miss their chance, and off Chandler and Dr. Scott go back to Mrs. Granderson’s HQ.

“Everything I know about women could fit in a shot glass.” ~ Tex ~

When they arrive at the headquarters Dr. Scott immediately starts to work with a team of doctors, while Chandler has received a communication from his family that they too are in Baltimore.  Chandler takes off in search of his family with some of his crew and a handful of the police officers and discovers they’ve headed from Baltimore to a place called Olympia; when Chandler tries to head there he ends up in a firefight with the police officers.  After taking care of his police problem, Chandler sends an injured crewman back to the ship for treatment and takes off after his family.  He finds his two children and father in the stadium, but discovers that his wife succumbed to the virus; after giving them the vaccine, they all take off back to the ship – running into Tex along the way.  However, on their way he discovers a startling fact – one that Dr. Scott uncovers on her own while working at the headquarters with the team of doctors – the government isn’t treating the victims, they’re killing them.  Chandler takes it one step further and discovers that they are using the bodies as a power source for the city.  Dun dun dunnnnnnnn. 

Meanwhile, on the ship a team of the police officers has taken the rest of the crew by surprise and shot Dr. Scotts partner, and former traitor turned good guy again, Dr. Quincy.  We’re left with the (again) predictable cliffhanger of Cmdr. Chandler trying to reach his crew, “Nathan James… where are you?” 

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The episode title was “No Place Like Home” – there’s no place I’d rather flush maybe…

Alright… now that the summary is out of the way, let me just say I won’t be doing episodic reviews of this show in Season 2 – it’s not worth your or my time.  I will do a season preview and season review, and I might pick it up if something happens that changes the series.  I’m confused how they even got a second season – unless you take the case and Bay’s name into account; that, and TNT may have decided they’ve sunk too much money into it at this point to cut bait and run… or flush it. 

“Why?” you ask.  Because this was another disappointing production by Michael Bay.  I’ve mentioned throughout how I didn’t appreciate the writing or character development (or lack thereof), and it didn’t get any better.  Not only that, but the show seemed to rely increasingly on a formulaic plot-line: as soon as we heard the message from Baltimore anyone with half a brain thought “trap!”, as soon as Tex took off we all knew he’d be back to save somebody’s bacon – more likely than not the Chandler and Scott’s, and as soon as they made it to Mrs. Granderson’s HQ I texted TheRealThirtyMinuteAbs “And they’re going to have their very own ‘Soylent Green’ moment before this episode is over.” and sure enough… 

It’s kind of sad, really.  They have so much material to work with, a good cast and obviously the budget to pull off some serious stuff – they just don’t.  In fact I think Tex’s line from the season finale, “Everything I know about women could fit in a shot glass” might be the best thing to come out of this show so far…  at least for me anyways. 

I hope in the second season they can bring in some new writers and a director that can get more out of this obviously talented bunch, and I will follow it and let you know if they do.  Until then – let’s all remember that this isn’t The Last Show, and get ready for the fall season that’s upon us! 

~ J.T. Riles ~

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