The Long Drive: A Fantasty Football… Draft Recap (at least what we can remember)


“I don’t trust any of you, but I’m willing to try.”

So, as we previewed drafting from a commissioner’s point of view last week, we thought we’d give you a little recap of our draft from Sunday.

The first half of our Dynasty-duel 24-team League drafted yesterday.  As expected it was a shit-storm of Sharknado proportions.  Sponsored by Jack Daniels, this auction/dynasty league gets a little rowdy.

Highlights include our Rookie-only Draft

  1. Sammy Watkins going to the 0-16 Steel Curtain
  2. Mike Evans going to Bouncing Back
  3. Bishop Sankey going to Liquor Borders
  4. Brandon Cooks going to Hawk Hunters
  5. Jeremy Hill going to The Diddys
  6. Jordan Mathews going to Ministers of Good Taste

As penalty shots flowed for such infractions as calling out a player that’s owned

(“the Chung”), bidding up yourself during the auction, and your girlfriend/wife entering the draft room (probably to give you some advice) just to name a few – it got a little dicey at Round 8.

Packers Fanatic and Dynasty Owner sporting a Steelers Jersey after losing a bet. he may be smiling on the outside but he was not pleased.

Packers Fanatic and Dynasty Owner sporting a Steelers Jersey after losing a bet. he may be smiling on the outside but he was not pleased.

The teams that came out favorites:

  • Ministers of Good Taste: of course, barring a Jay Cutler melt down (he’s not kind to us), with Matt Forte, Lamar Miller, Brandon Marshall, and Demaryius Thomas we are poised to repeat last years 2nd place points finish.
  • Dynasty: While only making it through Round 4 as coherent participant; Aaron Rodgers, Dez Bryant, ‘All Day’ AP, and Jordy Nelson will lead them to the playoffs for a 4th year in a row.
  • BG Smokers: Phillp Rivers leads a team that includes young studs Eddie Lacy and Montee Ball along with AJ Green and a healthy Julio Jones.  If team owner Kevin doesn’t waiver-wire or trade himself out of contention, he could make a run.

The bottom feeders could end up being:

  • Last year’s 0-16 Steel Curtain.  While owner Mike stayed semi-sober during the draft, betting on Arian Foster, MJD, and Riley Cooper to lead your team is quite possibly a disaster.
  • Liquor Borders.  While their owner didn’t partake in the JD, he also didn’t walk away with the same quality pieces as in past years; relying on Tom Brady & Marshawn Lynch along with aging Andre Johnson to lead his squad.

It’s a long season and many drunken Sunday nights of trade rape will occur to swing the balance. Luckily we have the other half drafting next Sunday for additional drunken footballing – this time it’s Jager….  Yeah!(?).

~ E.S.Norton ~


Categories: Long Drive...For Three...Hail Mary...At the Buzzer

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