Turn Off Your Phones! – A review of The Expendables 3

I’ll try to keep this short and simple – much like the movie (the simple part, not the short part).


If you’re a fan of some old-school action – this movies’s for you.   Heavy on the explosions, short on plot, and big on one-liners and stereotyping – The Expendables 3 lives up to its predecessors’ reputation.  In fact it could probably be considered better than the second installment in the series, but I’ll leave that up to you guys.

On a train bound for nowhere…. seriously – nowhere, if you knew this place existed Harrison Ford might have to kill you; just going to show you, you really shouldn’t do business with the government (you might not get it now, but you will if you watch this film).  Barney (Sly) and crew: Christmas (Jason Statham), Gunnar (Dolph Lundgren), Caesar (Terry Crews), and Toll (Randy Couture) are launching an all-out assault on a train carrying a prisoner to a black site prison.  The prisoner just happens to be an original member of the Expendables crew – back before the movies happened – Doc (Wesley Snipes) who isn’t quite ready to be rescued without making some noise of his own.  Explosions ensue, and we’re off to a good start.  Shortly after the rescue, a member of the crew is critically injured by a nemesis once thought dead, and Barney decides it’s time to retire the team: he’s not willing to watch any villainmore of his friends die on mission.

Seeking revenge (who would’ve thought a film with these guys would feature revenge?!) for his comrade’s injuries – and to finish his
mission, Barney sets out to recruit a new team with the help of Bonaparte (Kelsey Grammar), recruiter extraordinaire.  The new team is a bunch of youngsters: Thorn (Glen Powell), Mars (Victor Ortiz), Smiley (Kellan Lutz), and Luna (Ronda Rousey). They have a good plan that quickly goes sideways (surprise, surprise), and we find ourselves back with the original crew in short order… Along with another new guy, Galgo (Antonio Banderas), who needs to just shut up already.


Don’t quit your day job, Ronda.

Mel Gibson plays a convincing villain, Stonebanks, and more dicey situations follow: booby-trapped buildings, small armies, etc.; and the government comes to the rescue in the form of Bruce Willis’ replacement, Drummer (Harrison Ford), Trench (Arnold Schwarzenegger), and Yin Yang (Jet Li).

It seems like they might have cut back on the one-liners this time in an attempt to develop characters a bit more.  But that’s never been Sly’s or this genre’s strong suit.  Note: while we may not mind being put into a submission hold by Ms. Rousey – she shouldn’t give up her day job for this acting gig.

All that being said, is this show with your time and money? If you were a fan of the first two, you like explosions, and want to see Mel Gibson and Sly duke it out – go for it! I don’t expect this movie will attract many new converts, but for those of us who grew up with the Rambo series, the Die Hard series, the Blade series, etc. this should be right up our alley.

~ J.T. Riles ~


Categories: Turn off your Phones!

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1 reply

  1. Reblogged this on Celebrity News UK.


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